Celebrating the courage to say No

Wow, Kristin and Laura will probably kill me for choosing this photo!

Wow, Kristin and Laura will probably kill me for choosing this photo!

Ok, what you need to know first is that we were 3 when we started this business. It was Laura, Kristin and me. In the community where we started our project that is now Go Mad a year ago we were known as the Go girls. And yes, sometimes people shouted out ‘Go Go giiiirls!’ when we entered the building. And yes, we sometimes did indeed dance on the tables of that co-working space and no, it was not for stripping. It was to celebrate the life we felt when working together on our project that embodied so many of our dreams. Or so we thought.

Through learning how to design processes for people to get immersed in their inner life and tapping into their deepest wisdom, recognizing their talents and building their future from there, we also developed a very profound process of how to tap into ones dreams and aspirations.

Then one day, almost out of the blue, Laura bursts into tears and starts sharing that what we were doing as a company felt like too much work, felt limiting, felt bah! And that she was feeling guilty for not being in it 100% as me and Kristin. You can imagine our confusion. At the same time Kristin and I felt so much love for our best friend who was in conflict with what we were trying to offer to the world.  

Breathe in, breathe out. Laura set off to Texel to clear her mind and to be really honest to herself, and us for that matter. She came back after 4 weeks of searching and told us what she discovered. She used the dreaming process of asking herself what she really wanted to do in her life and what were the things she was doing out of feeling guilty and trying to avoid hurting her friends with whom she officially started a company 2 months ago.

She told us she had realised she wanted to work with children, learn about gardening and know how to build things with her hands. And then she said: “When I read my list of dreams I realised there was no Go Mad on it and said to myself … I must put it on the list, I need to put it on the list!”

You can imagine that didn’t really help her feel ease. Once she admitted to herself that Go Mad is not what she wants to do in her life, then she was at ease. And so were Kristin and me. All of the sudden we had clarity on who is going to shape the company, who is continuing and that gave us a boost of energy we didn’t really expect.

Then there was sadness. We had just finished a journey of three and started an adventure in two. We will not be spending intense time with her every day anymore. We will not have her great poppy seeds cake on the table or outbursts of music, dancing, and hula hooping in the middle of the room.

Then there was happiness. Happiness that the process we as a team developed is working also in the situation when friendships are at stake. Happiness that honesty was again the answer to a situation that so many times seemed unsolvable.

And then there was pride. We were so proud of Laura that she had the strength to look herself in the soul and embraced her dreams even if that meant saying no to her friends. She had the courage to say yes to herself and take charge of her life.

Today we celebrate that courage and the fact we came out of this situation with clarity, determination and a friendship unharmed. In fact, I believe, Go Mad just got the biggest fan.

Thank you, Laura, for being the way you are.

Love, Neža

p.s. Kristin says "me too."