Day 4 of Merel Going Mad was a day that everything turned out very different from how I felt like it would turn out.

Last night I  really needed some me time which turned out to be a bad decision. I stayed up late, couldn't sleep, and then woke up this morning feeling very unfocused.
So my day at Go Mad started off very weird, unfocused and emotional.

During our check-in my emotions caught up with me and I was like a waterfall. My tears wouldn't stop. But I'm not afraid to hide them and to share all my emotions with my group, so I did, and it really helped. You know what else really helps?

Hugs, lots and lots of hugs!

We talked about leadership and what it mean to us. I had a hard time deciding what it means to me. 
Maybe that is because I just don't like the sound of the word.

Then we did something that brought me completely back into my element, The Ministry of Funny Walks!

Me (the rest of the group), music and funny walks = amazing.
We did some funny walks, mirror dancing, leader and follower dancing, just dancing and dancing as a group and we had so much fun.  It made me forget about everything.

When we got to one of our last exercises of the day everything got a little confusing for me.

I had to draw my ultimate archetype plus write all my talents, passions, modalities, special skills and traumas I've overcome on paper. During this exercise I felt like I wasn't going anywhere, like I hadn't learned anything, like I was stuck in the things I already knew about myself.

But at the end of this exercise I learned that I actually did find out what I was looking for.

It came to me as a surprise and a really good one at that.

So I know now what direction I'm going in, what my values are, my talents and my skills!
All I have to do now it take the next steps, do research, connect and pursue what I want to do.

I feel like the next 2 days will be even more intense, mind blowing, awesome, sexy, emotional and inspiring then all the days before. But I'm ready for it.

I will embrace everything that comes to me. And most of all live up to of my core values of genuineness and honesty.

Until day 5,